...I've been trialled and tested and let me tell you this: I wouldn't be welcome in my own garden...I wouldn't be able to take it. I know this because I've been in bed for the past two weeks with the most almighty plague which I haven't been able to shake without the help of evil, pesky pills (the sort that will, no doubt, kill us all in the end anyway)...

All this, I suspect, because it's been a bit colder and wetter for a bit longer than normal. It irritates me beyond measure.

I yearn to be a geranium, but I am actually an orchid, FFS (more of which later)...

If I didn't have a small child to look after, I might well stay in bed until May you know....

It's the centenery of the Chelsea Flower Show, ... Have you got your tickets? If not, then I have TWO to give away, for the Wednesday, courtesy of my lovely friends at the RHS. See below if you want to get your hands on them.

But first, I've been getting excited about the show from my snotty bed. May is a favourite time of year for me - Newness and the knowledge that it's going to be *relatively* safe to go outside without being hit with a stabbing wind or lashing rain...

It's very difficult to get a proper idea of which show gardens are going to make me go oooh this year, but here are a few (in no particular order) that I'm getting a bit excited about:

Jo Thompson's FERA garden

A garden that starkly draws our attention to the fact that our trees are under threat from pests and diseases. It'll have an avenue of DEAD trees in it...beauty and ugliness side by side.

Adam Frost's Homebase Garden

This is being billed as the ultimate modern family garden, with an emphasis on helping children to understand the natural world. Lots of wild-life attractors here, along with a place to sit, eat and play.

 Kate Gould's Wasteland

A garden built on waste ground, and full of recycled materials sourced from that site.

 

Ulf Nordfjell's Laurent Perrier Garden

I just know this is going to have me come over all dreamy and peculiar...sucker that I am, for softness and romance.

 

Christopher Bradley-Hole's Daily Telegraph Garden

This is supposed to echo the making of the English landscape - you know, the way in which it got all patchworky with fields. Full of English native trees and shrubs, and the blocks will represent those fields. I like the Japanesey edge to it as well.

It's tough to get a proper view of the show gardens, which is why my favourite bit of Chelsea is pretty much always lurking around in the big tent, taking hundreds of pictures of exquisiteness and listening in on the experts giving advice on how to grow stuff.

Now: those tickets.

If you want them just do the following:

1. Enter your email into the 'Subscribe' box on the right of this page. (Don't worry, you won't get bombarded with emails; it just means that these posts will go to your inbox...I only post about once a month). The reason I want you to do this is because I'm planning on doing some new stuff, just for subscribers - little videos and extra projects that subscribers will get before anybody else.

2. Tweet or share this post on Facebook (you don't HAVE to do that, but it would be very gorgeous if you did). You can find my Twitter and facebook page just up there on the right, underneath the subscribe box. Either just re-tweet or share straight from my twitter or facebook page, or hit the 'Tweet' or 'Share' buttons at the bottom of this post, but remember to tag me by name so I know about it.

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3. Put a little comment in the box below telling me your favourite thing about Chelsea (this can of COURSE, be food, or gardening gloves, or GNOMES) x