I used to be a benign person, and then foxes entered my garden, ripping bits of it up, and pooing everywhere. My Rotter and I have turned into Boggis Bunce and Bean all rolled into one, plotting obsessively to thwart them. Success has been gradual but sure, with our cunning plan.

Before I begin. I would like to make it clear that although I dislike foxes and do not want them in my garden, I wish them no harm!

How to deter foxes from your garden

1. Switch things up.

Foxes are neophobes; any changes freak them out, so make this your number one weapon. Move things about regularly…pots, garden furniture. They don’t like it and will often avoid changing environments in favour of places that are undisturbed….this is a marvellous excuse to be out in the garden faffing around as much as possible!

2. Keep things clean

Obviously remove any and all sources of food from the garden. Clean up any windfalls daily, and secure bin lids with bricks or clips. Use an enclosed compost bin if possible, and clean up really well if you eat outside.

3. Create noise

Our other strategy is sound. We leave Radio 4 on in the shed all night long, and something called a ‘Zennox barking dog alarm’ which imitates a German Shepherd whenever it detects movement.

4. Sprinkle deterrents

We are dousing and sprinkling areas of the garden every few days with a combination a synthetic animal scent called ‘Scoot’, and lashings of Tabasco sauce. The trick is to keep changing tack, so the foxes never get used to any one thing.

5. Squirt them

The most successful strategy when used in addition to the above, has been a contraption called the ‘Home Defence Scarecrow’, which squirts a strong jet of water out whenever it senses any movement. Using all of these methods together has reduced scat by a good 80%.

Stay sly my friends, and you will prevail.

x Laetitia